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Anal sex is stimulation of the anus during sexual activity. It can be done in several different ways: manually, orally or by anal intercourse.
Anal sex can be the primary form of sexual activity or it can accompany other types of stimulation. For instance, couples sometimes include manual stimulation of the anus (either lightly rubbing the rim or inserting a finger into the anus) during vaginal intercourse. Others use the tongue in a similar fashion for oral stimulation.
Anal intercourse is the insertion of a man's penis into his partner's rectum. Although anal sex is often thought of as a strictly homosexual activity, many heterosexual couples enjoy it too.
Anal penetration can be pleasurable, but it can also be a source of physical discomfort. The muscle on the outside of the rectum, called the anal sphincter, ordinarily tightens if stimulated, which means that attempts at insertion of the penis, or even a finger, may be uncomfortable even if done slowly and gently. If penetration into the anus is forced, injury is possible. It is helpful to use a lubricant liberally and to relax and gradually dilate the sphincter by gentle manual stimulation before attempting penetration.
Some people clear the rectum with a small disposable enema before anal intercourse. Because the rectum contains infection causing bacteria, anything (fingers, objects, penis) that has had contact with the anus should not subsequently be in contact with the vagina or mouth until it has been thoroughly washed.
Strong Negative Attitudes
Some people have strong negative attitudes toward anal sex, whether it takes place between homosexual or heterosexual couples. They may think of it as being unclean, unnatural, perverted, disgusting, or simply unappealing. It is sometimes regarded as the ultimate in depravity and has regularly been condemned by religious and secular authorities.
Historically, religious objections originate from the fact that a woman cannot possibly get pregnant through anal sex, as some religions only approved of sexual intercourse for the purpose of reproduction.
Anal sex is subject to legal restrictions in some states, even between married couples. In general these statutes refer to anal sex acts as "crimes against nature", going back to the view that heterosexual intercourse, with its reproductive potential, is the only natural, healthy, non-sinful way of having sexual relations. These laws are strongly biased toward the prosecution of homosexuals because penetrative anal sex is far more common among gay men than it is among heterosexual couples.
A Legitimate Form of Sexual Expression
Despite religious and legal prohibitions to anal sex, many people, regardless of their sexual orientation, regard it as a legitimate form of sexual expression and as one of the fulfilling ways in which people can express their desire and affection for each other. It is up to each couple to decide what is acceptable and enjoyable for them. If a couple's attitudes or values make anal sex unacceptable, or if they do not enjoy it, they should feel no pressure to engage in it.
It is important to note that HIV, the virus causing AIDS, can be transmitted through anal sex, especially anal intercourse. In fact, the risk of HIV transmission is greater than it is in vaginal intercourse because the lining of the rectum tears more easily than the vagina does. The resulting skin breaks and bleeding increase the possibility of the transmission of bodily fluids containing the virus that causes AIDS. For those who choose to engage in either vaginal or anal penetrative sexual acts, using latex condoms is the best means of reducing the likelihood of HIV transmission.
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Positions
For most anal sex, there are a few positions which make it easier to access the butt. These generally apply to analingus, actual anal sex, or even using fingers...though with fingers almost any sexual position might work, if both parties enjoy it.
The most basic is for your lover to be on their back, legs spread and/or knees pulled up. Put a pillow or two under their butt...this is a big help that's easily overlooked. In one way this is the most awkward of the positions, but it can be the easiest for your lover. Another is for your lover to be on elbows and knees, as for doggie style sex. This is easier for access, but it also tends to require your lover to tighten their butt muscles a bit. This may work better if your lover has some support under their chest/belly to lean on, so they can relax more, and possibly even so they can lean forward a little, extending their legs out and to the side behind them, which might put things at an easier angle for access. A third position is for them to be on their side. Their legs need to be in a scissors position, perhaps the upper one extended in front of them and the other straight "down" (as if they were standing), else the upper leg drawn up toward the chest or straight upward (bent, either way), and the lower leg in whatever position is comfortable.
Cleanliness
As always, this matters more to some people than others, but in this case it's a more popular issue than with just about any other kind of sex, for obvious reasons. First, having bathed more recently than the last BM is a good idea.
It's a good idea to have a bowel movement an hour or so before, to ensure that nothing is encountered during any penetration (unless you're into that, I suppose), and then bathe the area.
Other than basic cleaning like that, oil-based lubricants are a great insulator for anal contact. They tend to cover up any potential (or simply feared) smell and transfer of icky stuff. If you use Vaseline/petrolatum, for example, the odds are that a simple wiping off with a dry cloth will result in finger/penis/whatever seeming to be just about perfectly clean. Again, this may not matter to some people, but it's worth mention because it is crucial to others.
To some people, enemas may seem like overkill, or even to be grosser than not having one before anal sex anyway. But they certainly do bear mention, in case this sounds like a good idea to you (feeling comfortable with things like cleanliness are potentially very important). This is especially worth considering in actual penis penetration, since one gets a lot deeper than even the most dilligent bathing process is going to be able to clean. But it is still not a really common practice, even for actual penetration. Of course a few people even find enemas to be sexually exciting themselves.
Lubrication
With anal sex of any kind, lubrication is worth seriously considering. And oil-based lubricants tend to work better, because of the treater pressure/texture involved. Drying out like water-based lubricants do is a more serious problem than with other kinds of sex. Bear in mind, of course, that oil-based lubricants are a threat to a latex condom, which will be damaged by it. That aside, vaseline is the best, in the case of anal sex, because it will stay in place and lubricate much more determinedly than thinner lubricants, and yet not provide its own resistence like thicker ones will. Cocoa butter would be my #2 suggestion. Some kinds of massage oil can work well. Baby oil and other similarly thin substances are way down on the list, as the lubrication they provide is rather weak/watery, for oils.
That's all for the basics...except that I will address the whole thing from the ground up, dedicating much more time to "how to get started" in this article than in the cunnilingus and fellatio articles. The reasons for this include the fact that this can be far more painful if done wrong, the fact that it's more taboo and thus worrisome to some people, and the fact that it's rarer...even thinking in detail about it is rarer...and thus more people are more likely to need to go over the basics. Oh, and the basics can be much more complicated, too. A penis in a mouth or a licking of a clitoris is a lot easier to get started in an "acceptable" way than a painless penetration of an anus.
Analingus
We'll start with this, because it's pretty simple. No worry about accidentally hurting anyone.
Work your way up to it -- as with any sex, it is often best to start out gradually, even away from errogenous zones completely. Remember how you used to fool around for hours before sex? It was pretty exciting, wasn't it. Anyway, even after you've gotten to the erogenous zones, you might consider performing cunnilingus/fellatio on them first. Simply work your way downward from there toward their anus, gradually.
No matter what position you're using, your hands, or your partner's will probably be necessary to make access easier. You have far more control and better contact if their butt-cheeks (is there a technical name for that?) are spread away from their actual anus.
What exactly to do, tongue-at-anus, varies a lot from person to person.
Some prefer a light flicking, gently licking around the center, or gently pushing at it.
Some prefer a deeper probing, with your tongue held rigid and pushed firmly inside.
Another method is to widen your tongue to apply pressure over the entire outside area...this is often much more stimulating than you'd imagine.
Another good idea is to try firmly licking, or even sucking on, the perrenium (the area between the anus and genitals. On a guy this is especially useful, because it indirectly stimulates both their balls and prostate.
The best method would be to combine all of these, and pay close attention to what your lover enjoys most. As in all sex, you would get them to believe in giving you a lot of feedback/signals, whether moaning, thrashing about, talking...whatever they are most comfortable with. They should increase or decrease this with their pleasure, so that you can learn what they like (it is different from person to person, this may be the most important secret of sex).
If you're going to engage in this for a long time, especially if you won't be switching back and forth between analingus and fellatio/cunnilingus for texture, you probably will want to provide some stimulation to their genitals, as analingus is a pretty mild form of contact that probably won't bring them to orgasm, or even keep them heavily stimulated, all by itself. The Cunnilingus and Fellatio pages on this site have some advice on hand-stimulation, which is often a vital part of oral sex.
Of course using your hands for their genitals will leave you short-handed for keeping their cheeks spread, so this is where recruiting them to do either the spreading or the stimulation is pretty useful.
The range of things one can do with analingus is a bit more limited than with cunnilingus and fellatio...but one reason for that is that the fingers need a separate section. Many people won't really want to do a lot of probing with their fingers while licking.
In fact, one might want to avoid using them even on the outside, because fingers are a lot stronger and firmer than a tongue, and so might make the licking part seem less obvious.
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